The Legend of the Dove

The cool night air settled upon the meager home and drifted into the rafters creating a chill unto all the inhabitants. As the little pigeon puffed out her humble feathers and tried to drift asleep that night she was awakened to the sound of murmurings down below. For the past few days, her caretakers had been discussing a journey that would take place very soon. She would just as soon stay perched here in the safety of the well built wooden framed house, than to try and make the journey with them. She had lived here all of her life and rarely left because of the shame she felt about her unkempt appearance. Her feathers were not vibrant like those of the parrot's or peacocks, and she did not have the mesmerizing voice like the finches or sparrows. As she listened closely to all that was taking place below, she made the decision to step out of her comfort zone and accompany the couple on their trip. Her love for the couple was great because of their love for her. As she recalled the times that she had landed on the various tables, chairs, and cabinets that he was making, he would quietly and humbly feed her morsels of food that gave her life. "Yes," she thought, she would quietly go with them to lend a familiar song or a friendly perch. As the journey began, at times she thought that she could not make it to the end. Then, at the time when she thought she could go no further, she peered below and saw that her friend was going through a trial much more difficult than she could ever endure. As the donkey clicked down the rock worn path, her friend said nothing, knowing that the journey would be well worth her pain. After what seemed like years of traveling, lights appeared in the distance. She could tell that her friends were very happy that they had reached their destination, because the trip had taken a toll on everyone. Tears slowly crept down her friends' faces as they went from inn to inn trying to find a place to lodge for the night. With each passing moment an intense pain grew inside her friend. In desperation, they were told that they could find shelter in the back of one of town's inns. In a matter of seconds the couple found their way to the small shelter which housed many of the goats, sheep, and cows from the town. As they settled down, the pigeon flew to a familiar wooden rafter and watched at the activity below. A warm inviting light caught her attention and she looked up to see the most glorious star that she had ever seen shining directly on them. Immediately, her attention was drawn to the heavenly glow that shown around them all. Hosts of angels were round about them, arms outstretched and singing the most beautiful songs that she had ever heard. Her heart soared as she saw them and listened to them, secretly wishing that she had a gift such as this to give to her friends below. A still, small voice rent through the night time air that drew the attention of the angels, animals, and the small humbled pigeon. As everyone gathered around to see the small bundle swaddled in tiny cloths, everyone bowed their heads and began to kneel in humble adoration. She know that something great was taking place here on this silent, Holy, night and she wanted so desperately to show her love and appreciation for the newborn King. What was she, but an unattractive, ill-sounding bird? Before she could stop her feet, she accidentally slipped off of her rafter and fell into the straw beside her king. Trying to get her balance she lifted her wing and touched the babes' tiny cheek. As He curled his tiny hands around her wing and smiled into her eyes, she felt a warm glow throughout her entire body. Love beyond measure flowed through her, along with never-ending grace. As He let go of her wing she stretched them out and noticed that she no longer had the dull, ugly colors of a pigeon. She was washed as white as snow on a cold winter's day. As she peered into His eyes she saw her reflection and recognized that she was no longer the same. She had been transformed by His power and love. No longer was she able to contain her joy, and a heavenly sound was sent forth from somewhere deep inside her being. As she sang and rejoice with the Heavenly hosts, she knew that her heart would forever belong to Him.

Top Ten List

After a wonderful weekend at Myrtle Beach with my
com padres this past weekend, I have decided to post our top ten
scrapping list in honor of our trip.

TOP TEN REASONS WE LOVE SCRAPPIN'
AT MYRTLE BEACH. . .

10. Having a wild and crazy slumber party with all of your best friends.
Did I mention no husbands?

09. Sleeping late (some with ear plugs) and not having to wake up to kids jumping on
you or someone asking you to cook breakfast.

08. Eating out and having a great conversation with friends. All the while, you are able to chew, swallow, and savor the taste of your food and not have to jump up to pick up forks, toys, cups, or food off of the floor. No potty visits or even the frequent brawls that happen when your kids somehow get in to a shouting match at the table.

07. The electronic Hula Dancer at Margaritaville. Yes, she does move!

06. Rockin' with the Crocodiles and the old geezers at the Crocodile Rock!

05. A midnight visit to the ER with a very sick 28 week pregnant woman. I know what you are thinking. . .why is this wonderful? The sick part was really bad, but the lady we met there was hilarious. That would be reason number 4. . .

04. Conversations with an upstanding member of society in the ER waiting room at 1:00 am. Discussing how this woman's boyfriend hit a pole while walking into a bar, and being left in the road. She of course, had already ordered a drink before realizing that he was missing. We really met a F-F-F-Friend. . . :-) That's putting it nicely. FNA

03. Krispy Kreme and Starbucks at will. Except when one member of our posse is suffering from adverse side effects from her nausea medication.

02. I gotta go to the bathroom! Was that iceberg lettuce???

And the number one reason we love scrapping at Myrtle Beach. . .
Drum roll please. . .

01. Move outta the way. . .its a gas leak!!!

Picture this!

So, this week I was talking with some other moms at Ms. Ann's (Caroline's Dance Class) about picture taking. Being the scrapbook junkie that I am, with the mention of the word pictures caused my ears and eyes to perk up immediately! You would think that I was some sort of hound dog about to tree a coon. Anyway, the topic of conversation was photography establishments and which ones were better than others. Having three kids, I felt like I was highly competent in answering these questions. So, I decided to describe to them about my last photo shoot at Portrait Innovations. Most people would agree that you get tons of pictures for the money that you pay. However, what you don't realize (until you are smack dab in the middle of it) is that there is a definite process to this whole thing. . .a very long and painful process. This is how it usually starts: A phone call from me, of course, trying to schedule the best possible time for my kids. Accounting for nap schedules, meal times, poop/potty training issues, early morning waking times, closing times, cranky times, and that slightest possible window of opportunity where there could be a happy time. That is the appointment that I would really like to get! Also, take into consideration that my spouse usually has something more pressing to attend to on the day that I schedule the appointment. . .like getting his ingrown toe nails pulled out of their sockets. As the happy day arrives, inevitably, there is some sort of crisis that I have to overt. They tend to range from frizzy hair dos, the accidental chocolate drop on the shirt, toothpaste fights, black colored underwear under white clothes, a potential scrape from the brawl that just occurred, and the dropping of all of the nicely pressed clothes in the occasional mud puddle that was formed mysteriously outside over night. . .with no rain in sight! If Santa could see me driving, I am sure that he would be proud of my instructions. . .Stop Joshua! Get Down Caroline! Sit On Your Seat Now! Don't pull Her Hair! We Do Not eAt buggers! With a smile pasted on my face I enter the store with my entourage in tow. I have given each of them "the talk". It usually goes something like this. . ."We will not run around the store will we? We will use our inside voices and will not take any toys away from the other kids that are there. We will not fuss, cry, or fight with each other. Do you understand?" Much to my surprise (yeah, right) they have somehow gotten behind schedule and we have to wait 30 minutes before the room is ready for us. Tension begins to rise and my chest tightens. I can already see how this thing is going to play out. Beginning to pace back and forth, I realize that Caroline has decided to have a Lego throwing match with the kid next to her. Unfortunately, the lady beside her was not excited about this because she got hit square in the head with the big red Lego plane. As I grabbed CAroline's hand I noticed that Baby Christian had dumped his Cheerios all over the floor, and the Toddler standing next to him was now eating the tasty morsels. Rushing over to clean them off of the floor, I turned to see that Joshua had somehow wondered off to who knows where. Panic floods over me as I grab the stroller and Caroline's hand to find out where he had gone. After searching the area I spotted him in the computer/printing room spying the equipment. After reprimanding him he informs me that he knows how to take that stuff apart and he learned it at Camp Invention this summer. Ah, that is another story indeed! The Heavenly angels trumpet the announcement that our room is now ready and we enter. . . But there is a problem. . .Caroline has decided that she does not want her picture taken, and Christian has crawled off to pull down the white toy bench. After pulling them both back into the picture area, the kind lady with a tongue piercing, comments on how lively my kids were. She doesn't even know the half of it! If Vogue were there to witness this photo shoot they would have seen attitude, pouts, and grand kid style. Oh my! Leaving this room with the kids exhausted from their posing, the lady informs me that I will have to go through all 72 poses in order to pick out the ones that I want. Of course, I would have to wait 10 minutes more for them to load on to the computer. So, I strap the baby in the stroller, I bribe Caroline with a sucker, and I threaten Joshua not to move an inch. This tactic is only know to work about 5-7 minutes tops. Somehow, I make my way through the pictures and try to select the ones that are the best. This is like trying to pick someone out of a police line up and not making a mistake. Plus, you've got your three little Houdini's trying to pull an escape trick in the process. The moment arrives and you are ready to pay the bill. A silent prayer goes up to God that I have not surpassed the allotted amount that I was supposed to spend. A war of reasoning begins to unfold. . .Mark, they were so good, that one was so unique, it's a once in a lifetime shot, they'll only be this age once. . . Happily, I hand the clerk my Debit card and check out with a smirk on my face. As the bell rings when I open the door to leave, I hear a collective sigh of relief from everyone there, including myself. Unfortunately, I have at least another 30 minutes to wait because the pictures have to print. I tell myself that I will never do this again, but I have said that before, haven't I? What's that saying about being a glutton for punishment?

Falling Leaves

It's been a year ago that I arrived home from the hospital with a precious bundle of joy by the name of Christian Everett. Feeling tired from lack of sleep and the pain from going through childbirth, I forged into my empty kitchen to "get away from it all"! Punching the buttons on the trusty old coffee pot I began to brew my favorite cup of Starbuck's coffee, hoping to awaken my senses. Life had definate taken a change for me in the past nine months. As I peered out of the kitchen window, I began to think about the changes that were taking place in my life. So many changes happening so fast. Unavoidable changes coloring my life in so many different ways. Immediately, my eyes were drawn to the leaf covered ground in my back yard. Where there was just green grass growing (plus a few weeds) a few days before, I noticed a variety of leaves that had fallen to make a wonderful collage all around. Like the leaves on the ground my life had unexpectedly taken on a wonderful transformation. Most people would pass by and not take the time to notice a few leaves that had fallen on the ground. As such, most would not notice the changes that occur as we live our lives day by day. The colorful experiences that enter our lives changes each aspect of the way we live. I am thankful for the little leaves that color my life. As they circle and blow around me, I will be reminded and will think about how special and unique they are to me.

Taking Care

Growing up in a broken home had its many disadvantages over the passing of time. One of those unfortunate things would be finances and the lack there of. As a result, many non-essential items and issues would be pushed to the back burner instead of being dealt with because of the inability to pay for those things. In essence, there were many times that we would hold off from going to the doctor in order to see if the sickness would pass or heal on its on time. When I turned 14, I witnessed the unrelenting disease that ate away at my daddy. For several months he battled a courageous and very painful disease that completely turned his vital, energetic, and healthy body in to a broken and beaten man. As scary as this seemed to me, I realized how important it was for me to take care of myself and be as healthy as I could be with my body. This brings me to my most recent experience and realization.
Most women do not look forward to when they turn 40 for many reasons. . .sagging skin, wrinkles, slower metabolism, etc. . . And the dreaded MAMMOGRAM! I have heard many horror stories about this screener for breast cancer, and I have never looked forward to it. However, after going to the doctor and discussing it with him, he felt like I needed to create a baseline or benchmark for when I do turn 40. I agreed with him. So, I went with much apprehension. Having three kids, I was not all that bashful when it came to unveiling everything and getting it in place for the xray. Not a big deal to me. As the machine began to compress, I was waiting for the pain to begin. . .nothing happened. Wow! I thought. It was not really that bad at all. I can handle this. The painful part was not the test. . . It was the waiting part. . .Waiting for the results. When they came, unfortunately, it said that there was something there that needed further testing. My heart sank. Now, I had to make the trip to the hospital, which I really do hate. After a much more in depth xray, I was found to have nothing more than some extra tissue that showed up. Relief! I know that I dodged a bullet there, and I am so thankful. After going through several bouts of cancer in my immediate family, I am really frightened to think about that for myself. So, for now, I will continue to listen to my body, take good care of myself, and thank the good Lord for my health, and the ability to continue on with my life. . .healthy!

Celebrating Earth Day

Here's the deal. . .My hubby is not one to go and read my blogs. . .So, when I write about my interpretation of Earth Day, I am sure he will not be reading this! What's wrong with that, You Ask? Well, he is a total right wing conservative who would probably call me a tree hugger, PETA loving liberal after reading this. . .But I really am not :-) After getting some really cool information from my good friend, Walter, who is a Scout Master, I think, We all went to Howell Woods today. We told the kids that we were going on a HIKE and explore the great outdoors. After packing our lunches, binoculars, baby wipes, baby food, diapers, waters, back packs, bandannas, Dora bag, maps, sunglasses, sun tan lotion, and a few other sundry items, we set off to Four Oaks to find this Howell Woods. Riding there, I thought about Survivor and how they would never take all of the Luxury Items that we took with us. Of Course, diapers and baby wipes were very essential. Then again, so were my special tinted sunglasses that I really love to wear. Anyway, our trip there was very mundane. My mind wandered and thought about the first settlers and how they survived on the land, and how beautiful God had made everything. As we got closer to the area, we turned down the road that leads to the Woods. It was called Devil's Race Track Road, A very long and winding eight mile stretch that took forever to drive. I could almost hear the dueling banjos in my mind as we went down the road. Please deliver us! After unpacking all of our essential and non-essential items, we took a look at the learning center building and the bird area, one of my favorites. We saw a barred owl, great horned owl, turkey vulture, and several Hawks. Inside the building were snakes, turtles, and lizards. Hanging out around the building were 5-10 adults of varying ages with guns! I knew that there was hunting in the area, but these people were there to take a firearm safety class. Whew! I felt a little uneasy after seeing all of those weapons. We left the learning center and started down the first trail. The kids were very anxious and wanted to explore everything. Mark, the big leader and alpha male that he is, was our protector and walked ahead in search of ferocious animals. Joshua found many valuable crystals that he was sure to make millions on and packed them away in his backpack, and Caroline picked up walking sticks and other types of pine cones that she says she will use to spank Joshie when he misbehaves. We approached a small fishing pond in the middle of the trail and I spotted a snake skin in the water. Using Joshua's walking stick I retrieved it and kept it for him to take to school. We crossed the bridge and I caught a glimpse of something to the side. Turing slowly around, I saw a black water snake (or maybe a black rat snake) poking it's head out of a dirt hole, about 2 yds from me. I told the kids to turn around slowly and head on back. Funny, Mark had already turned and gone the other way. I called for him to take a peak and he confirmed my sightings. We wrapped up our trip and went to the little stream that passes through the woods. Caroline slipped and fell in the mud, and Joshua, being the Gentleman that he is pulled her up and fell in himself. They were covered in mud, which reminded me of Predator and how the Aliens can't see you when you are covered. We got back to our Van and pretty much had to strip down the kids. They were fussy, which unbelievably was a good sign. . . it meant that they were very tired! The great thing about this trip was that they all fell asleep on the way back home. I think all of this Earth Celebrating just wore them slam out! That's when I just sat back and enjoyed the ride back home looking out at the beautiful countryside and admiring all that God had placed in our Earth.

And you say you can dance?

When I was about 7 my mom enrolled me in Candy's School of Dance in Burlington, NC. From the moment I walked into the studio, I knew that I was going to be a star one day. Each day I would practice with an intensity that no one except me knew about. The sound of tapping could be heard on my wooden room floor upstairs in our home every day. My little stereo would be cranked up really loud, I would don my tuttu and tights, and my feet would start moving. At some point during those 3 years, I realized that my days as a tap dancer were numbered. Most of the cute, trim girls in the class were much more talented than I. Then there was the fact that my body was just not made for that kind of dancing. As I grew older, and started dating, I found that I really did enjoy dancing. . .mostly to music that had a really great beat. As I would sit enthralled, looking at Madonna, Paula Abdoul, or New Kid's on the Block dance, I would try to imitate their every move. Maybe I could be like them? Maybe I could make a video like they had on TV. Again, I would practice my moves, and sing the songs while looking in my mirror upstairs. Boy, if they could see me, I was sure they would want me to dance in their videos. There were even times when I thought that possibly someone would drive by my home and see me dancing or hear me singing (a music producer) and want to sign me on immediately! I LOL when I think about that now. As the days passed and I grew into adulthood, I attended Proms, went to dances at Campbell, and even went to a few dance clubs after Mark and I got married. I think that I could have danced all night if they would have let me. Little by little, my dancing days have danced out of my life. There have been times when I would say to Mark that we ought to go dancing if we go out on a date. With no family here to watch the kids, the very few times that we do go out alone, we are so tired that we are lucky to go catch a bite to eat and make it home by 9 pm. He is not a dancer like me. So, here I sit on a Friday night. It is is almost 11:00, way past my bed time. I think that I may just put on my headphone set and mosey over to bed. . .tapping my feet as I go. Silly, I know!
Note to self. . .go out dancing with your friends this year.

Swing Away

We would all like to think that growing up makes us somehow smarter or wiser in a way that helps us to be able to make better decisions in our lives. How many times have you heard your parents say or even you say to your kids that adults have lived longer and know so much more? They say that with age comes wisdom and the ability to make better choices. Well, in all of my infinite wisdom, and I use that term very loosely, I have decided to challenge that way of thinking. As an adult, when faced with issues in our lives or decisions we have to make, I think we tend to ponder and wrestle with the pros/cons etc; Sometimes bypassing the right decision because of procrastination or indecisiveness. . . Younger adults (teens included) don't spend as much time thinking about things, they act. They make a decision and follow through with vigor. Adults make the decision and second guess themselves. I think about things that I could have/would have done had I been a little more decisive. My thoughts drift back to my younger adult days and the carefree way I interacted with others. I recall the times I would sit up for hours on end talking with a friend about life and our hopes and dreams for our lives. Not caring if it was 2 or 3 am, or the fact that we had a class in about 4 hours. Sitting on a swing and feeling the breeze against my face and being totally swept away by the feeling of love. Like the movements of that swing, the predictability of life swept us away. The adult mindset overtook us and seized our youth. The thoughts of those days remain. I would like to think that they bring us comfort when we need them the most. Times when nothing that we do seems to matter to anyone else around us. Other times when we would like to think that those days were the absolute greatest. The days we lived our lives withcarefree love and laughter, with hopes and dreams. When the touch of a friend communicated more than any word could ever say. Now those were the days! I guess our parents would call that "sowing our oats", but to be honest, I think that those were the days when we thought with the most clarity in our lives.

Growing Jiffy Plants

Most people know that my daddy was a farmer when he was here on this good ole' Earth. He grew all kinds of crops but he mainly grew hay to sell to other livestock farmers. As I grew up around the farm I always loved going out to the field to survey the wonder of the life that was growing before me. Even as I drive in my car today and look out the window, I am completely fascinated with how all of the elements just come together perfectly and produce the things that we need to sustain our lives. God is so good to us! After my daddy passed away when I was an early teenager, I felt like all of his wisdom and knowledge about growing plants went with him. As I grew up and later got married, I always felt like Mark was thinking that I should be outside growing a homegrown garden in our yard. I was ashamed that I did not know more about it. So now that I am staying home, and I am learning to be frugal with our finances, I am going to learn how to have a garden in my back yard. I have a really great friend who knows so much about growing and planting. Luckily, she does not judge me for my lack of knowledge, or the fact that I am uninformed about this. When I call her, she always tells me what I need to know, and she offers to help.

So, I was sitting here tonight looking at my Jiffy plant holder. We planted 72 seeds last week and they are growing at an alarming rate. . .faster than I had expected. Do I transplant? Do I set up a makeshift greenhouse with hay bales and glass. Do I wait? AHHHHHHH!!! OK, I won't stress over this, but I have made a few observations.
First, I had to remove my Jiffy plastic dome because the plants were getting really big. Letting them breathe in the open air and experience life outside the dome. This sort of reminds me of my kids. . .having to let go of their hands gradually and let them make a few decisions on their own. Second, playing a guessing game with the plants reminds me of the times as a parent that I second guess the decisions I make regarding my children. Oh, to know if I had made the right decisions??? Waiting and praying that God will lead me in the right direction. . .Praying for Wisdom. Thirdly, will the plants take to the ground and grow productively after I transplant them??? Will our children go out in the world and remember all that we have taught them about life, God, and how to be a productive member of society? We have invested so much love and energy into our little angels. All they need is a little Son light in their hearts. . .A breath of God's Air in their Souls. . .Some Blood to wash away their sins. . .Growing tall. . .Growing strong. . .Growing for God. . .Growing our Jiffy Little Plants...

The Mills Man

I have always been very fond of firey red Honda Civics since the early 1990's. I guess you can say they conjure up many happy memories of my very young and sometimes nieve adult life. When I see them now I smile, and the thoughts of years gone by come flooding through my mind. My first encounter with the Mills Man (and I use that term loosely) was on a steaming hot August night in1989. With music drifting through the tall pine trees and down the crowded streets my friends and I were well on our way to starting our new lives. The little college town of Buies Creek had never seen the likes of us and the enthusiam we brought with us (and will probably never see it again). As we made our way to the street dances that first night we mingled with new friends that we had made earlier that day. Could others feel the excitement that we felt that night? With senses hightened, my eyes turned and immediately locked with those of another. The sparkle in his eyes was indescribable. His hair tossed to and fro in the light breeze as we approached one another. I detected a slight sense of uneasiness about him, as if he was not sure about our meeting. As I suspected, we had many commonalities with each other. The gift of gab, love of life, analyzing life situations, and most of all passion were among many things we shared. Without sounding too cliche, our ships stopped before they passed in the night. How could we have known that our chance meeting that night would have formed into a lasting relationship? Somehow that August night we made a connection that we would never fully understand until many years later. How things might have been very different for us if we had chosen a different path that night. The man I know today is not that uneasy young man I met that night. He is a confident man searching for something that will fill the void in his life. He has long since left that Little Red Honda Civic in exchange for the life that he desires. Our lives have turned and taken different paths, but we still remember the moments we shared that night as it defines the way we live our lives. Excitement. . .Enthusiasm. . .Mystery. . .Happiness. . .Love. . .Passion. . .I will always thank the Mills Man for what he gave me. . .friendship and the love of my life.

A Mother's Love

When I was a little girl I remember the warm feeling that would overtake me when I was being held in my mother's arms. At age 36 it is hard to recall those moments because they were so long ago, coupled with the fact that most of us stopped being held by our mothers around age 3. Because I was a very needy child in the way of needing to be held and nurtured, I would find myself asking to be loved quite often. . .even if it was an inopportune moment for my mother. Even now I can see every line in her face and the way her mouth curved when she smiled at me. The sweet smell of Olay that she rubbed on her face and neck to smooth out the timely lines of age. The way her hair flowed around her neck and how it would twist around my fingers and slide out of the barrettes because it was thinning when I would play hair salon with her. The way she would look at me with love in her eyes when I would gaze into hers unknowingly. My mother was a woman of few words, but I knew that she loved me. It has taken me a very long time to understand the depths of love that she had for me, but having children of my own has show me how much. I used to think that she loved me less because she was unable to tell me daily how she felt, but I now know different. My mother loved me with her heart and soul. She provided for me and gave me what she thought I needed. She held me and took care of me when I was sick, and pushed me along to do the things that I thought I could not do on my own. I am my mother's daughter. I am strong, independent, and loyal. . .just like she is. I am a survivor and someone you can depend on in life. I have learned to work a 16 hour day on my feet. . .just like my mother did for me. I have learned to sacrifice so that my children will have what they need. . .just like my mother did for me. I have learned the value of strong family ties and being there for one another. . .just like my mother was for me. My mother loved me with all of her being. . .just like I love my own little angels. I guess that is what a mother's love is all about. Teaching. . .providing. . .nurturing. . .helping. . .loving.

The One

Perfection is a highly overrated quality that most of us are trying to achieve in our lives, don't you think? I was just pondering the many ways we try to acquire perfection and the risks that we will take in getting to that desired goal. How many of you reading this are on or have been on a diet? If you are a woman, then you most definitely say YES! When have we not been on a diet would be the better question. It is so sad to think that our society judges a person's worthiness on whether or not they fit into that size 4 dress, or if they have abs of steel. Third world countries are dying from starvation because they do not have enough food to eat, while we have enough to eat, and want to starve ourselves. How crazy is that? Why is it that we will not love a person because they are different in some way that does not meet the approval of society? I have many friends who have passed over wonderful mates because there was something "wrong" with the person they were dating. . .wrong hair color, too small, too big, big feet, annoying laugh. . .Do you know someone like that? Countless times I have told my friends that there will always be some sort of annoying quality that will absolutely drive you nuts with your mate. No one is going to be perfect. The task at hand is to ask yourself "Can I live with the good and the bad?" If the answer is no, then you must move on. A wise woman once said that you can not change your mate. . .no, that was not me! It was Oprah! It's true. If I had a penny for every time I have had to ask my spouse to pick up his clothes or get off of the computer, I would be a millionaire! However, I have learned to live around those annoying habits and deal with it. For the most part :-) What I am trying to say is that we all have some kind of baggage that we haul around with us. Decide what you want and then go for it. Remember that no one is perfect

Timely Patience

You know that you are getting older when the young kids in the grocery store line call you ma'am as they are bagging up your Oscal and Fiber One cereal, and you get these emails concerning your 20th year high school reunion. As I look back on the last twenty years I wonder where the time went? When I was a kid, I remember waiting for special events to take place in my life, and I would have a count down list for each of them. The first one being my driver's license and being able to drive. I started counting that one when I was 8. Then, I remember counting down when I would graduate from high school. Most of my family and friends will tell you that I am a planner. Lists keep me straight at times, and have gotten me in to trouble at other times. When things do not go according to my plans (which happens quite a lot), it throws me for a loop. That is the time that God is trying to teach me to do His will, not mine. This lesson is one that I have experienced many times. Anyway, where was I. . .Oh, yes, time. . . where has it gone??? Today I had the lovely experience of having my annual checkup. The young doctor suggested that it was now time to have a mammogram seeing that I have several cases of cancer that run in my family, and the fact that I had a run in with the disease myself a few years back. I hear that it is not a pleasant experience to endure. The usual questions were asked and then from out of the blue, I was hit with a question that has never been asked before. . . .I wondered if I was hearing things clearly (another sign that I am getting older). . .She says. . ."When did your mom go through menopause?" I looked at her and with a dumb and startled expression on my face said "What?" No need to worry she says, according to the doctor, I will likely follow my mother's pattern in this area of unexpectedness. At this point I am doing some lightning fast calculations in my head. What's that saying about payback??? Well, if it is true then I am going to have a good one! All of the times I would roll my eyes at mom when she would complain about being hot, or have some sort of hormonal outburst. . .this might be a little scary. Okay, I have a few more years of somewhat normalcy, I guess. Maybe it will hold off until after my reunion. I have lost quite a bit of weight since the baby was born in September. I would like to look and feel my best at that time. The picture that I included was one from last year when we had our reunion of 16 years. Of course, it is all in God's time not mine. That is what I have to continue to remind myself about. He is my God and my maker.
On a side note, if you are reading this. . .you should come to our church this Sunday. . .Great Breakfast. . .Great message. . .Great fellowship!!!! (Calvary Baptist Temple. . .Raleigh, NC)

Marching to the Beat

Only my closest and dearest friends would know that I have a very well-kept secret. You would have to know that I come from a very interesting family situation that influenced the way I see life and the way I relate to others. When I was five, my mother and father divorced, leaving my mother to pack us up and moving us to Bigger Better Burlington. Dealing with a nasty divorce, child custody/alimony issues, and unemployment, my mother had more problems than you can ever imagine. With that said, I grew up under my older sister's care and my younger brother's attention getting actions. Saying more might be a little too much, considering the possibility that he could be reading this. I guess you could say that I was the typical middle child who was trying to fit in and learn where her place was in the family and the world around. Rule following was my game and sticking out was my name! Instead of getting in to trouble, I was the overachiever who entered every contest, sang in the talent shows, danced, ran for SGA president, and even raced BMX bicycles! I know what you are thinking, and no, that is not the secret! The longing in my heart was to be noticed, loved, and nurtured. Things that I was obviously missing from my life at home. I found that place when I entered the band in my middle and high school years. So, here's my secret. . .I am a complete, committed, crazy, BAND NERD!!! The band was my family. It was like a secret association that only people of like minds entered. It did not matter what your background was, your band family looked out for you and took care of you if you were having a problem. You were in the loop! Once I left school and went to college, I tried to get involved with the band. It wasn't the same. It reminds me of that song "Strawberry Wine", where the she sings about the time that has drifted away and how you look back on that time with fondness. The weird thing is that I still wish that I could go back and march or play with my friends. . .just one more time. I have dreams about getting ready to march onto the field. . .the cadence call. . .hearing the announcer say "Welcome the Marching CHS Cavaliers!". . .Wearing my freshly polished white marching shoes. . .my crisp clean uniform with my yellow plume sticking correctly from my hat. . .rolling my feet 8 to 5. . .horns at the press box. . .the cheers. . .the sweat. . .the tears. . .then I wake up. I feel an emptiness inside. Here's the catch. . . if I could dream and dream big, then it would be to send out a message to all of the CHS band alumni. . .we could form a band and march at homecoming and parades. . .practice some throughout the year. . .have a few socials and visit one another. Yeah, I am a nerd when it comes to my band family. . .but of course, I have always marched to the beat of a different drummer most of my life.

Snow Much Fun!

Do you recall the moments of your childhood when you would go to bed and lie there hoping that when you would awaken from your slumber that the ground would be covered with soft downy snow crystals? Your heart and soul would pray that your parents would come to your room and tell you that school had been canceled and it was a snow day. Mom would pull out the big blue Tupperware bowl and place it on the old LTD Station Wagon and it would begin to collect the cold snowy crystals that would later be used to make the delicious snow cream that we would wait with anticipation to eat. Layer upon layer of clothing would be thrown on haphazardly, only to rush out the back door into the winter wonderland. "Keep your toboggan on!" my mom would yell. Oh, I remember the many times that I wanted to create the perfect "Frosty the Snowman", but I never seemed to have the right things to make him look like the one on TV. Most of the time I would just tire out and my Frosty would be one big blob of snow. Then, my brother would make his presence know by knocking down my beautiful creation. By that time, we were usually cold, tired, and in need of some warmth. We would pile into the house with our dripping clothes and strip down. Our toes were frozen and our cheeks were rosy, but we did not care. It was snow much fun! Today I had the joy of seeing my children hop out of their beds and rush to the windows in the same way that I had when I was a child. Caroline dropped to the ground, like she had seen on Barney, and began to make snow angels. Joshua, being the big brother that he is had to toss around a few snowballs that unfortunately made its way to his little sister. Baby Christian was just chillin' in the car seat watching intently at all that was taking place. It really was snow much fun!!! P.S. There is more to come on Sunday :-)

Picture Pages

Being the photo freak that I am, I was chomping at the bit to upload a photo to my blog page. Unfortunately, I could not wait for my new photos to load on my computer, so I had to use photos that were taken before Christmas. Ah, Patience is a virtue. One that I am still trying to acquire. So, here we are. . .Caroline, Mommy, and Joshua before the Raleigh Christmas Parade. With a little craftiness and a whole lot of glue we made these Christmas sweatshirts for the kids. They used their hand prints to make a reindeer, and I used green ribbon for the trim work. They were really cute, and very comfortable. The only downside to this project was the fact that red sweatshirts are very hard to find in 3-6 month sizes. As a result, Baby Christian did not get to make his. We had to improvise with his outfit. Since he and Joshua were born around the same season, we had many Christmas outfits that we could use to coordinate with the kids. Just look at that cute little face! He could melt the icicles off of a reindeer's antlers :-)
What wonderful children God has given us. I just can not believe how blessed we are. I can remember my sister telling me how much love you have for your child and that it is like no other love you will experience in your life. I could not understand exactly what she was talking about until I had children of my own. Your heart is so full of love and the need to give your child a lifetime of love and protection. My prayer is that they too, will look back on these times and remember the love of the season or day. People sometimes use that old cliche, "A picture is worth a thousand words." Yes, there are many things that you can say or think when looking back at these wonderful pictures. I hope that my kids will be able to recall those "picture perfect" moments that we have shared, and be able to pass that along to their children as well. A heritage that will last forever. Just like the images in a picture.

Childhood

On every Friday afternoon there is an air of excitement that builds starting from the moment the alarm clock rings in the morning until around 3:45 in the afternoon. At that moment (3:45) you will be able to tell from the expression on Joshua's face what the night will bring. . .You see, as a non-parent, I believed whole-heartedly that children should not be rewarded for their good work in school; It was expected. As a parent now, I have changed my ways of thinking. . .or maybe they, (the kids), have changed my way of thinking! We always try to have a special time with each of the kids, however, when Joshua began to make careless mistakes on his reading and spelling tests on Friday, we decided to have a special rewards system for him. This week his reward was to go with Mommy to see Charlotte's Web and go to Cold Stone for ice cream afterwards. Each reward is not as elaborate as this one. Anyway, as the movie was winding down and Charlotte went to the big web in the sky, Joshua moves over in my lap and begins to cry. My heart was melting. The credits begin to roll and the music was playing and he begins to cry once again. We talked about his feelings and what was going through his mind at that moment and shared our feelings together. Thinking about this now, I wonder how long the innocence of my child will last. His compassionate heart is a treasure beyond words. There are so many people who take that innocence away from their children. Kids are forced to grow up by pushing them into sports, music lessons, dance lessons, and so forth. Having kids involved in these activities is not bad if there is moderation. When are they allowed to be just a kid? What happened to the wonder of exploring outside and building mud pies with dirt. Riding bikes and playing in a fort until the light of day has subsided? My child may not be the roughest, the MVP, most talented dancer, next Olympic Gymnast, American Idol, or any other talent. My child is just that, a child. A little boy who has a great imagination and who has the compassion to feel and to love and to just be. He is our wonderful little boy that we love dearly.

A Moment in Time

Have you ever had one of those moments in time in which you passively make a comment that means no more than the breath that departs from your lips? I had one of those moments today. Six o'clock arrives like a locomotive out of control in our home each morning. This morning was no different. As I hopped out of bed and headed for the kitchen I heard a strange sound coming from my son's radio. . .beep,beep,beep. As I tuned in to the sound, I realized that there was a weather alert for our area. Glancing out the window, I noticed that the ground was soaked with water, and the wind was coming down in sheets. At that moment, I knew I was going to have a grand time trying to get three kids in the car, buckle them in car seats, and drive to school. . . on time! I rubbed my eyes and grabbed my coffee cup with enthusiasm. I was definitely going to need that jolt of caffeine this morning. As the cinnamon rolls were pulled out of the oven, my husband casually walks in the kitchen and grabs a few of the rolls, minus the icing. As he was turning to leave, our eyes lock, and he tells me, like he does every morning, that he loves me. With all of the kitchen activities taking place I tell him the same and say "be careful; it is messy out there". Later that morning, as I was listening to the Old Testament books of the Bible song for the eighth time since leaving my driveway, I approached my son's school. . .almost there. As I crossed the Neuse River Bridge, like I had done thousands of times in the past eleven years to get to work, a warning signal went off in my mind. "Always leave enough room in front of you and the next person when you get stopped on the bridge." Throughout the many years that I have traveled this bridge there have been countless accidents that have resulted in very serious injuries. This bridge is a nemesis. My van was almost at a complete stop behind a car that was already stopped on the bridge, and then it happened. . .a flash, a jolt, a shock. We had been hit from behind. Immediately think. . . It was one moment in time and no one was hurt. A moment when we tell the one we love to be careful. A moment to console and love one another. A moment that we can not take for granted.

Drifting

Dreamscape is a pretty unusual name for a blog considering the fact that I am sitting here at 5:00a.m. unable to sleep. How unfortunate! As I tossed and turned last night, trying to find that peaceful slumber, I began to ponder the reasons that I was unable to find rest. Of course, when you have to awaken around 4:30a.m. to feed an infant, you find yourself in a very percarious situation. . .fall asleep or suffer the consequences. . . you will be a walking Zombie the next day. So, here I am writing about the causes of me not sleeping last night. As I hopped out of bed this morning :) (4:23a.m. no less) I decided that sleep would come no more for me. So, I took my bath, fixed my hair, make-up, etc., etc., and I even cooked a good ole' Southern breakfast for my kids. . .bacon, eggs, and grits(instant-sorry!). In my book, I would consider that being very productive. Surely, I will fall into bed tonight exhausted from the day's activities, but for now, I am enjoying the few minutes of "alone" time that I have. So, why no sleep, you ask? Maybe the sheep were out to pasture? The cause I feel is the realization that I begin to think too much at night. Recreating the day's actions, the people I have talked to, things I should of done, could of done. . . Instead of drifting to sleep, I feel as if I am drifting on a boatload of ideas and thoughts. Maybe if I contemplate these things more before the day's end, I would drift into the sleeping realm a lot faster. HMMMM that is certainly something to think about, isn't it?

Rose-Colored Bliss

Ok fellows! It is that time of year again. If you have checked your local drugstore, I am sure that you have noticed that the heart shaped chocolates are already stocked and waiting to be purchased. What's that? Do I hear teeth chattering and heels knocking? Is it fear that has your heart quaking? Well, help is on the way for you! For most of us (the female persuasion), we do love to be indulged in the area of sweet treats (chocolates) that is. However, there are many other possiblilies that require your attention. Lets start with the romantic ambiance that is never far from hand. A candle lit dinner, our favorite dinner menu, slow music (mine would be Eric Clapton), and a little dancing. Is it that hard to recreate? Never! How about a song that would be written for that someone special, or a hand-written card that endears your soul to one another? So, many possibilities. Just last night, as I was watching the re-runs of the show Heroes, I noticed that one of the characters has a unique quality. . .he can hear what others are thinking. Way cool, right? His wife certainly thought so. He was able to anticipate everything she wanted: a quite evening, a candlelit dinner, even ice cream and coffee. I am sure you know where this is going. A relationship is like a flower. It (the flower) needs water, sunlight, air, and lots of love and attention. A relationship is very similar. If we continue to go through our lives with rose-colored glasses attached to our faces, we will miss all of what live has to offer us in our relationships. I am not saying that we must walk with rose petals beneath our feet; I am saying that we must color our lives with the love and attention that will allow our relationships the chance to bloom. Bliss is a state of mind that everyone can attain if we pay attention and listen to the ones around us that we love.